Charlie’s Last Video

It’s been a slow creep towards Charlie’s Death Day.  We don’t know what to expect other than a lot of tears and pain.  Whenever I go back to watch videos or look at pictures the grief chokes me out as I get closer to the last pictures and videos taken of Charlie.  This is the last video we took of Charlie.

He was watching the movie Open Season.  There was a part in which the deer crashed through a glass door while riding in a shopping cart.  Charlie loved how he yelled, “Hey,” before he went through the glass.  Watching it once was never enough.  He always asked, “Can we do that again?”  Of course we can, Char.    Of course we can.




9 thoughts on “Charlie’s Last Video

  1. This day last year was my last day with Charlie. It’s weird, I remember the day like it was yesterday, but then I feel as if it’s been forever since I’ve seen/been with/heard Charlie. I still have the Happy Meal toy he got that day. I keep in my purse and whenever I go fishing for something that toy always seems to find its way into my hand. I like having a piece of Charlie with me at all times. I carry a lot of guilt because of this day. I wish we had a time machine…I would go back to this day and suggest to do something different.

    I keep replaying these next couple of weeks in my mind and it seems like a dream…actually more like a nightmare. Seeing/watching what you and Vanessa had to go and are still going through makes my heart break and angers me. I see your see pain, I hear your pain, and I can’t make it better.

    Love you guys.

  2. Charlie’s belly laugh made me laugh out loud, then I cried knowing that he isn’t here on earth any more. Perhaps he and my son Dylan have met in heaven.

  3. I have been thinking a lot about your last blog. It reminds me of when my mom died. I agree with you that it is no where near the same, although I can relate a little I can’t say I know even an ounce of your pain. Everyone always said to me, “You know she is still here with you” I used to think, that is such crap. Yea I know she is here, I smell her and feel her here, but it is not the same and not even close to being good enough. I think it is just their way of telling you they love you. There really is nothing else to say. As you said, nothing makes it better, not even thinking about God or heaven. Just time, just lots of time. And even that doesn’t help.

    For whatever its worth (and it’s probably very little) we all are doing our very best to hold you and Vanessa up, at least in our hearts. My guess is that we all think of you every day and try to pull some of that pain away from you. My little man was only a few weeks old when Charlie passed and when I watch these videos and read your words I can’t help but think that I stole a little bit of that sweet boy for my own. I can’t decide if it is your loving words as a parent that I so much relate to or if the videos really remind me of Nathan. Maybe someday I can send you a video of my own and you can tell me what you think.

    I’m sorry doesn’t begin to cut it but its the best I got. I love you both and if you ever need a place to get away, please come visit. I am here anytime.

  4. What a treasured memory. You are in my heart and prayers for always. The tremendous grief will soften as little as time goes by, but your Love for Charlie will grow every day.

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