Waiting

It seems like I’m perpetually waiting for Charlie.

As I take a shower in the morning, I’m waiting to hear the thump on the floor as he slides off his tall bed and onto his stool. I’m waiting to hear his heavy feet plodding towards the bathroom door and then kicking the door open. I’m waiting for him to throw the shower door open and ask to take a tubby with me.

While at work, I wait for his phone call to remind me how much he loves me and what he’s eating for lunch. (Probably hot dogs. True story: We once split a package of hot dogs for lunch. We each had four.) I’m waiting for Charlie to ask me if I can take him for a bike ride when I get home.

When I get off the train, I’m waiting to hear him yell for me across the tracks. I’m waiting for him to remind me that I promised to take him for a bike ride.

When I take a shower with Char at the end of the day, I’m waiting for Charlie to tell me to sit down with him b/c, “I don’t want you to slip and fall Daddy.” (He was very concerned about my safety.)

After I put him to bed, I’m waiting for him to sneak back downstairs as Vanessa takes a shower to spend a few more minutes curling up with me on the couch.

I’m waiting for the day when these thoughts don’t consume every second of my life. And I’m dreading the day when they don’t.

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One thought on “Waiting

  1. Bry-
    I sometimes feel the same way. Well, pretty much any and every time I talk to you or Vanessa on the phone. I wait to hear Charlie in the background laughing or for him to take the phone away from one of you and say “Hi Wizzie, where’s Eshoo?” and then contuine to tell me about his day…I wait for him to come through CiCi’s door on Sunday mornings for breakfast…I wait for him to come around the corner of the front hall at your house when I walk in with that huge smile on his face…I wait for him to run up to us uptown when we meet you guys and give me a big squeeze…There are so many times I catch myself waitng for Charlie, but the one day I can’t wait for is the day we understand why this had to happen. And the day I’m most excited for is the day we will see him again.

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